the crazy things don't really want me to write about them. i'm just a part of their crazy rides. they envolump me and spin me round i spin around, i go all around, i must go through the floor and back to where i came from. i am a little kid; i don't want to get in trouble, by some guardian figure (momey? dady? teacher?)) i'm hardly connected with my normal self; which I assume must be what's typing this. I'm a little kid; wearing footy-pajamas; and the morgan at the computer is covered on flaat plastic daisy things, of mostly pinkish colors. i'm hearing what i 'm supposed to do; from some sort of female teacher figure. i'm on sort of a marygo round; it keeps contracting in space; sometimes it's full size, sometimes it's only like 3 feet diamater. it's axis is sideways; so that lieing down would be like standing, and everything goes through the floor and into the air and through my futon and such. this seems to be the way with the Salvia rollercoasters i sort of feel like i'm still lieing down on my futon; that's w kind of how my mind is oriented; even though I'm sitting at the edge of my futon with my head resting on my knees as i type. but that's just my physical body. my little kid self, in some sort of park on some sort of morphogenic merry-go-round is outside, and it's daylight. i/he's not confused, really, about this split reality thing. when i fade back into being him, it seems very natural, it is simply who i am, at that time. it happens sort of in waves. i'm keeping a grip on this reality, so that i can type and such, but that reality is also keeping a grip on my mind, and the main experience is going like waves back and forth. it's like, i'm in my body on my futon typing and seeing and feeling the experience play out... and then i'm on the ride and dealing with the teacher and looking around and thinking about the day and what's going on and stuff, but deciding to let the "morgan at the keyboard" fantasy play out. both of me is humoring the other enough to make them both happy. but now it seems to be fading; i seem to be much more strongly.. sitting at the keyboard. i'm still flowing through the darkness behind my eyes though. the music that's been playing in my head is quite present now, twising around and stuff. but it was doing that when i was falling asleep reading before smoking as well. whew, when i let it, the keyboard starts to stretch away from me; becoming longer and longer towards the back, and to type at the further letters my fingers are also stretching in accordance. i can see this just as if i were watching it, even though my eyes are shut and my head is resting in my elbow. for some reason a monkey, sort of cartoonish, keeps playing upon my visions; sometimes wearing my grey hat which i've left downstairs. silly monkey. the hallucinations seem to be fading pretty much now. i'm still thinking heavily (sort of) about how weird it was halluciniating while reading the end of that Wilson book. granted i was sort of falling asleep, but those were some prettyy strong and sudden and persistent hallucinations. Wilson is a master of cut-ups and other styles of psycho-writing. he had me hallucinating and seriously paranoid of the writings in Illuminatus during the summer, when I was sick; and again tonight his words made me not simply see things, but leave my regularly scheduled reality and carry out a different life somewhere else; no questions asked; not untill i returned to be "regular" body and mind and would sort of freak out about who the books made me trip. pretty fuckin' cool shit, that. yah R.A.W!!! i'm suspecting that my typing is leaving a bit to be desired. i keep losing track of what letters i just pushed,k and in what order; but i'm not looking, so correcting mistakes as i type is probably not coming along perfectly.. Wow. when i lift my head up (eye's still closed) it feels _realy_ heavy and moving it around is just crazy. i'm consious of the glow of the monitor in front of me. the dark areas, when i turn my head away, are filled with rainbowed tiny curvy fractalish shape things; like little wares or fractal ranbow hair; sort of. it's pretty cool. theyseem to get a bit exited and disipate in the area of the light (the monitor). i'm sort of becoming concious of my size again. that i'm not a little kid. i just realized that my legs are bent and quite long if i think about them. my arms and torso too. it's quite a change going from small child to full grown and only just becoming aware of it. i feel very tall; sitting here. okay, now i'm seeing some kind of unsettling skull things, with mouths open and screaming-silent. i'm very aware that they're just a mental construct, but they're not the most fun one to have running around my head. though, actually, they're doing some pretty cool visuals. like three side by side skulls stretching, pressed tight together, getting longer together, somehow morghing into one larger skull with a sort of hood thing over it. i'm wondering if perhaps the recent promos and thoughts and stuff about Scream 3 aren't rather influencing this. Ahw well... ooh, now there's a very cool looking red dragon flying around. my perception o f size is very strange even with the visions behind my eyes. at first when i saw the dragon i imagined it to be like a "full size dragon", but then upon looking at it, i realized that that woodent fit there, in front of me, and that it was more the size of a large bird; but now i'm seeing it as more the size of a humming bird; as it obviously has to fit between my head and my keyboard (my eyes are still closed, i'm just aware of where my hands are), and thus can't be too big. i've had a bunch of these weird spacial distortions with this stuff. like the merry go round; going between full size and what would fit in my room. perhaps it's my brain compensating for the double realitites. it's having fun with the Salivvia world but then remembers my regular world and trys to make them work together, by fitting objects within the space i remember being available; and occasionally intigrating the two; like with my being on the merry go round, but also going through my room. the earlier offset axis of gravity and world and stuff can be fairly unsettling. i guess it probably stems from my starting the trip lyeing down, but just the same, my internal gyrosocope thingy knows that i'm lyeing down, but wants to possition me standing. so i sort of become aware of a sideways world, where evertyihng is normal, except that my head feels really funny and sort of "off". a little bit nausieating, i suppose. i think the same sort of thing happened with my last trip; crazy disorienting sideways world!..... but now, i'm mostly back in my "regular" reality and i'm getting tired of having my eyes closed and i have to use the bathroom, and so i'm going to step away from the keybaord now. additional comments: i don't think that sound is as much a problem as i suspected before. this trip was in my room with crazy humming coming from my various computers and it didn't really upset me. I've had music going through my head all night (which integrating powerfully into my hallucinations while reading that i mentioned earlier) and i suspect that some sort of quiet, calmish music would be okay in the background while tripping on Salvia. Light does seem to have a fairly strong effect. I think that it's much easier to get lost in the trip and not feel compeled to open my eyes when it's totally dark and i think that this is generally the way to go in the future: nighttime, all lights out (after putting down the pipe!). I'm a little curious what it would be like if i propped myself up sitting right after putting down the pipe, rather than immediately laying down. lyeing down does seem to work very well, but that sideways reality is a bit upsetting. actually, i think that the sideways reality made it easier for me to distinguish it from my "regular" reality; which could be good or bad, depending on how far you want to break that distinction. in this case, i think it was kind of comforting to be able to tell them appart; it feels alot betting if issues of sanity come up; makes it easier to accept that this is just a trip and that i didn't go all the way and fry my brain this time. i think i'll try and calm my mind now and get some much needed sleep. i didn't really check the time before smoking; it seems like it should've only been like 20 minutes or so, but i'm having trouble accounting for about an hour. oh well, i probably just lost track.